Check ze Tweets...und also emails!

This Thursday 03/18 on "Mostly Dead with Heathyr Hoffman"...

...will feature my penance for being so categorically terrible at responding to emails, Myspace messages, and Tweets! For months now. Really, it's bad. Many of you have my permission to feel fully justified in your righteous indignation.

In addition to profuse apologies, I will be answering a whole variety of your questions and comments, from the lovers to the haters, in true pseudo-Craig Ferguson fashion. Last week's episode, "Energy 101" was some pretty srs business (though I'm glad it was so helpful for so many!), so I want this week to be a lot more laid-back. Vodka in my Sonic cup? Maybe. Guess you'll have to tune in to find out.

I should clarify here that I lack any sort of Twitter/email jingle, because someone has yet to write me one. Hint: anyone who uses the word "ephemeral" in such a jingle has forever captured my heart.

If you have any new questions/comments/concerns/criticisms/random statements, be sure to send them to me before this Thursday evening! Help me make this a really fun show - I want to hear from you!

Send them to me at myspace.com/heathyrhoffman, twitter.com/heathyrhoffman, or heathyr.hoffman@gmail.com. Ask me about dead people, seeing dead people, dealing with dead people, avoiding dealing with dead people, Ghost Hunters Academy, pararnormal TV shows, upcoming events, readings, paranormal research teams, ghost hunting, EVPs/evidence, science and metaphysics, or mental disorders and the paranormal.

Please note, however...paranormally-related subject matter, while encouraged, is not necessarily required.

"It so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead."

Listen, so, there's going to be a webcast. And it'll be every week on Thursdays at 8:30pm EST, on Liveparanormal.com - and it's mine!

It's called "Mostly Dead with Heathyr Hoffman", because you can't go wrong with a Princess Bride reference. Ever.

I can't guarantee that it will always be insightful or interesting, but I can promise at least a consistent minimal level of awkwardness and snark.


The folks at liveparanormal.com made me a really freaking fantastic banner. It would make me want to watch my own show if I wasn't on it already.

ConVocation: the summary

Didn't I say right off the bat when I got this blog that I would probably not post as much as I think I should? It's funny how self-fulfilling prophecies work, isn't it? It's like they are prophecies that fulfill themselves!

ConVocation was a great experience overall. I didn't crash my rental car into anything, I didn't get hopelessly lost, and u-turns are the standard in Michigan so I managed to play it off like I'm a competent driver. That would really be enough to make a satisfying day for me, but on top of those things - my class went really well! I was pleased that so many people showed up (some of them who actually watched GHA, imagine that!), everyone was on board with the material, and no one fell asleep (no tomatoes got thrown either). The comments and stories are always what makes this kind of thing fantastic, so I'm appreciative of the contributions above all else.

Of course, in the middle of my teaching the class, my favorite dead guy said (loudly) "I don't believe in ghosts". Hilarious, sure, but a little unhelpful when I'm trying to look professional and serious and I'm the only one who can hear him...I think I hid it well though. It didn't happen to show up on the audio either - which, incidentally, can be downloaded right here for the next few days. There was video footage of the class too, but we're trying to see what we can salvage given that the camera kept falling off the table. A day in the life. Some type of video/audio combination will (hopefully) be up on the Youtubes shortly.

I'm glad I got to catch some really interesting classes as well, and I visited a little cemetery in Troy. A combination of snow on the ground, sunset, and the wind made it a cemetery experience that just can't be replicated in Arizona. I made friends with that tree there on the left - you probably wouldn't understand. I'm not usually one who has a strong affinity for nature spirits/energies, but it worked out this time for some reason. There was a larger cemetery up the road, but it closes at 4p in the winter which I think is silly; besides, it's a flat cemetery, and I don't understand those. It's the headstones and statuary that really make the ambiance of a place.




I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fantastic people - both the new ones I met and the friends I don't get to see nearly as often as I'd like (things like "living on opposite sides of the country", they get in the way, you know?). Thanks for the hugs and support, keeping me from throwing myself and/or other people off balconies, the giant bottle of gin that I didn't drink, and putting up with my Nyquil-induced stupor (see right) that resulted in at least 15 minutes of uncontrollable giggling after our toilet overflowed continuously for no reason. The masquerade ball on Saturday night was a great excuse to put on a dress, which I simply cannot ever pass up (see left); but it was also lots of fun too. Y'all are people who know me far too well, and still actually like me for some reason! I'm not questioning it, I'm just grateful.


The folks who work their arses off to put on ConVocation do a fantastic job, and I'm not just saying that because two of them happen to be some of my favorite people. Pat them on the back the next time you see them.

Listen, I have some great things in the works people. I wish I could tell you all about them, but since I can't, you'll just have to trust me on this one. Internet stuff? Events? New TV shows? Maybe. You'll just have to wait and see. If you watch anyone for long enough, they're bound to do something interesting once in awhile, right?

"If life were predictable it would cease to be life."

A little less than a week until ConVocation, y'all. I've been working hard on the class I'm presenting, and it seems like the more work I do, the more I realize that it really is some pretty hefty subject matter. There are about a hundred different directions I could go on the subject of paranormal phenomena, mental disorders, how the diagnostic criteria overlap, and ways to keep yourself grounded. I would be remiss not to mention the value of intuition, and common cognitive biases (confirmation bias is a biggie). I quite like what it's shaping into, and of course I think it will be super interesting (I also happen to think reading the DSM-IV is interesting, so consider the source I guess). I'm excited to see what other people can contribute through their own experiences and insights.

All 4 of them that show up.

Basically what I'm saying here is, if you live in the Midwest region, come out and play! There might also be a certain Ben Smith in attendance...though I may have to bribe him in Snickers bars and shiny objects. I'm taking up a collection. (It's secretly for me.)

I'm going to try to put a video of my class up on Youtube after the fact, but I am not telling you this! If I tell you this, you won't come see it for reals, and I have to entice you somehow. If you only watch it on Youtube, you won't be getting the full experience...I'm not sure what I mean by that, but I stand by my statement. Snickers bars? I don't know. Maybe. Guess you have to show up and find out.

I'm at work (at the shelter) currently, and I was on the phone talking about my class to the staff at the other shelter. Pretty soon I realized it had been like 15 minutes and I was still talking, and it was only about one facet of the class. I've been mildly intimidated by the 90-minute time slot, but apparently I actually have some degree of authority on the subject. While I'm sure the other staff was only feigning polite interest on the other end of the phone, I can't help but feel like 19 years of formal education and a lifetime of self-insight could possibly pay off. Who knew?

One concern of questionable legitimacy? Voice projection. It was explained to me at length by the sound people on the crew of GHA that I have very little, if any, bass-tone in my voice. Bass-tones are what resonate to project one's voice, so people with more bass-tones are louder without trying. This is why no one ever hears me talk, especially in mixed settings, and they had to make a note to turn up my mic more than the mics of the other cast members (this is during the times when I wasn't breaking them - "your frequency is interfering with its freqency" - but that's a story for another time).

So what am I going to do, make my endocrine system manufacture enough testosterone to alter my tonal range in the next week? While that is an option, it' s probably not a very likely one, so we'll see if I can be genetically superior to monkeys and evolve (Darwin joke! Anyone?!...No? Okay. It's 3am, give me a break).

There is a more personal component to this coming weekend, which Eleanor Roosevelt puts much more eloquently than I could possibly hope to: “You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give”. Sometimes life thinks it's played its trump card with you, and you have no choice but to stomp your way back up to the top of the anthill to prove otherwise.

I'm a fire ant amongst all the little pavement ants, dammit!


I leave you with a little shelter wisdom for the ages:

Titles are overrated.

Sigh. I was afraid that I would get this blog, and then never update it. Self-fulfilling prophecy...?

Sometimes I'm just not that witty or interesting.
- Whaaa?! -
I know, shocking, but true.

So I'll just shamelessly self-promote my shizz instead. It is my blog, after all.

HeathyrHoffman.com - Ooh, shiny. Full of purple and flash and win!

My interview with The Buzz at Ztalkradio.com is posted now (my segment starts about 43 minutes in). It was interesting to talk to a show that is more metaphysical-based than cut-and-dry scientific-based. I talked quite a bit more about being a medium, how that works for me, what my methods are, etc. I think it's worth checking out, but then, I'm also biased.

It's always so interesting to listen to radio stuff after the fact, b/c I always feel so awkward and stumbling over my words in the beginning of interviews - though it never ends up sounding that way. "I am a serious professional" - this is my mantra. Repeat every 4-6 hours as needed.

It's a blog! Like all of the other blogs!

I figured since I've been having all sorts of change thrust upon me lately, like it or not, I'd contribute to the process and get a BLOG! I had sort of an overwhelming burst of "must...blog...now..." but now that I'm here, I've discovered I don't quite have the motivation to really browse and peruse this site to become as familiar with it as I probably ought to. That will come later.

Says the girl with a horrible tendency toward procrastination.


Anyway, I'm on the internet...on a computer...AND IT'S MINE. The 36-hour Computer Fail Event of 2010 has come to an end.

{No, I'm sorry to tell you, there will not be souvenir pendants available that read "I contributed redundant information via Twitter to Heathyr's 36-hour Computer Fail Event 2010!" Just kidding. But not about the pendants.}

The having of a functional computing device was a fantastic feeling before the realization that I lost all my bookmarks and don't remember half of my passwords and have to re-download basically every program I use regularly had a chance to set in fully.

But still...VICTORY. Take that, pain-in-the-ass Virus Of Doom, even though I contributed very little to nothing except the money for the hardware and semi-humorous Tweets and @slushymermaid did all of the actual work. I kicked your ass, virus, don't be comin round back here again!

It seems I entertained the masses with my 4,862 tweets on the subject of all my fail in the past 36 hours. (If you missed it, check out my Twitter profile and catch yourself up with the last ten freaking pages or so. For the love of god). I actually gained followers, which is bizarre and I'm convinced I'm going to lose them all again once my life gets back to normalboring. But in the meantime, I'm glad my anguish made your day a little brighter, you sadistic bastards. :)

I had such high hopes for the start of this week, which included working on (if not completing) my class for ConVocation and reviving the lost art of the Heathyr Hoffman Youtube Video. BUT THEN my entire hard drive committed suicide in protest, and I was forced to reflect on the possibility that I might really be that boring. Just kidding?

Fortunately I don't have class tomorrow so perhaps I can attempt to cram 2 lost days' worth of work and laundry into a 15 - okay, let's be honest, 10 - hour day. I also need to re-load all of my files onto the computer and attempt to play catch-up with everything else. Unnecessary interruptions and complications, my new life companions it seems.